Gold Star Dad

The thoughts of a father who has lost a son to war

The evil spiteful mind.

Posted by fozzynok on 05/11/2011

Flashbacks are just a part of the new normal I guess. I took our youngest up to the school early this morning to get on a bus for a trip to the state Special Olympics track meet. This is really his first trip anywhere overnight without us. All thus week it’s been prepping for the trip, packing and buying things for the next few days. This was a little trip for a few days and the kid is going to have a ball. Met the bus at the school helped him load his things, talked a bit to the teachers, the drivers as my son milled around and helped with loading things from the classroom into the bus.

I was just dad taking his kid to the bus for a field trip. Nothing crazy, nothing really weird not even a twinge of anything out of the ordinary day. They were all really busy with getting ready to go so I figured I’d leave and head out and let them go. I called Anthony over to give him a quick hug goodbye and was instantly overwhelmed with emotion. The second we hugged, I was hugging Micheal that day long ago and putting him on the bus for Ft. Benning or the “selfish” hug I got with Micheal outside the barracks that night at Ft. Campbell as he was leaving for Iraq. The crushing and unexpected wave of anguish and I guess shame of allowing it to attack me like that at an innocent little event made me pretty angry at myself. The owner of the human mind can be just as a cruel and punishing as anyone or anything else in the world I guess. There is no escape.


2 Responses to “The evil spiteful mind.”

  1. Mike said

    Very sorry to read of your loss. May god bless you and give you peace. USN 78- 84

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