Gold Star Dad

The thoughts of a father who has lost a son to war

Archive for August, 2015

One of those days. This is what this blog is for

Posted by fozzynok on 08/07/2015

I started this blog a long time ago. I described why back then and its true still today. Today started off bad.. it was normal for a Friday.. then as I left town, I looked at both wrists and realized that I had left my “jewelry” at the house. My son’s memorial bracelet was sitting on my nightstand at home. I have grown so accustomed to it always being there, that I simply got caught not paying attention. Throughout the day there were “things” that dug into me. I found out that today is Purple Heart Day. That started a roller coaster of emotions when I read the comments on the page that I was on. I was pretty upset, but its the upset that is there when I realize that even well meaning people do not walk the the shoes that I walk in.

I have no idea how long that Purple Heart day has been observed, but as usual the posts were mostly about having a “happy purple heart day”. It just ground on me a bit. I shouldn’t have but responded with; ” Just like Memorial Day, there are no “Happy” Purple Heart Days. I could be wrong, and as it relates to some people’s “Happy Alive day”, I guess I’m just being too sensitive. It makes me feel like an asshole when I can no longer feel good about “homecoming videos” and every advertiser in the world using veteran homecoming in every commercial they can. Guilty as charged. I am sometimes a bit jealous of them, and sometimes it just flat out hurts.

Today also I had a picture hit my Facebook timeline that again really hit me hard.. I am so honored and appreciative that no one else was killed or badly wounded when my son was KIA. Today one of the men who was in the vehicle that day posted a picture of himself and a nurse apparently after the EFP attack, being released from the Baghdad ER. Some days it feels like things happen when I do not keep my bracelet or the dog tags on my person. I understand that its silly and a bit superstitious.. but it is what it is.

To all of those who have bleed for me to earn this medal. I salute you.

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