Gold Star Dad

The thoughts of a father who has lost a son to war

Archive for January, 2011

The bunker disturbed

Posted by fozzynok on 01/31/2011

Remember the story about the bunker that I have exiled myself to for going on three years now? Well, the small forays into the world of the new normal have been growing in time and I guess in distance. The bunker however is still there. Lots of things in the bunker have entered, been placed like bricks in the walls and have laid there frozen in time along with me. We decided that it was long overdue to get things moving and continue to make this place livable and even more likable for ourselves. New windows, siding, carpet the things that make a house or even bunker more comfortable.
New carpets means moving things, lots of things… in face EVERYTHING. That in normal houses is probably a large endeavor, in the bunker where things have come a part of the revetments and defenses, this became larger than I ever expected. We had to dig out the corners of things and memories and life from the last three years. I felt rather good about this as it felt like I was really moving, going somewhere. The last few days were near 80 and the sun was shining, sanding painting and patching.

Today I was setting up a computer that has pretty much sat in the corner of the back bedroom for the last few years into my youngest son’s room. I figured that it’s just sitting and gathering dust and he really deserves to have a computer of his own that he can play what he wants when he wants. Part of the process of moving computers of course is moving all the “stuff” that goes with them. I discovered several discs that were well hidden in the bottom shelves..
I had this feeling that they were pictures of the recent past. I found out that they were things that I had seen and had basically forced into the black bag in the back of my skull. The first disc was of the day Micheal came home, the pictures instantly brought it all back The crowds, the motorcycles, private jet the hangar, the line of cars and bikes, the strangers lined up down the streets leading into the town, all of it. The fact is that I was right back there and that day.
The next disc was of my Ft Benning trip, the turning blue, the graduation, the young shiny new infantryman and his new family, me and my old infantry buddy who went on the trip, the pictures of the “welcome home Pokey” banner on the front of the house. It was all there.. the smiles in the pictures from all of in the photos.. it was surreal.
The last disc contained Micheal’s high school graduation. The cap and gown and the checkerboard vans the promise of a new citizen and a soon to be soldier.. Pokey and Me

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